My heart is many times bleeding. I don't know why.
Is it a kind of a stream of blood running in aspiration for union? Probably...
Is it an excess of love? Is it a need of loving? Is it just the spiritual presence in me? Or is it indeed a wish and aspiration for fulfilment?
But we may admit that could be also some fair person remembered or loved in my soul, time to time germinating in my consciousness, and making me feel that inner stream or even secret affinity and so awakening in me the feeling of movement towards Love?
But is it really Love or is just aspiration, wish, longing for a stronger or deeper state of love?
I would say they are just rays of love springing from the inner deep source, or going out and to certain beings, or even to God, as sometimes we feel and express by some devout ot mystical utterances as: - My God, My God, I love you...
Let us suppose that this inner bleeding is specially a wish of union with the beloved one. But from where springs this memory, wish, aspiration?
Is it from my true self, or just from the pool of memory, or only from the personality, with his affinities, wishes, needs, desires, or even from a deep aspiration for the binding in love with the beloved one, human or divine?
Some times is just a feeling and aspiration, other times it seems a recollection, a concentrated fire coming out from the soul.
But who knows, from the spiritual being in us and from the ocean of memories, feelings and wishes, with so many waves and currents, from where, and why, it sprang that feeling, or remembrance, that make us feel that kind of arrow trespassing our chest or, better, this inner opening by the rays and currents of the heart?
Our small understanding of the subtle heart and of the many levels of memories and wishes operating in us all the time, make difficult the task of ascertaining from what part of our soul it originates, or with which interconnections or even ressonating feelings of love from other beings in the Cosmos it grows, as we are all the time irradiating our inner blueprints of being and loving and so, in certain ways, communicating with the ones of our spiritual inner group or family, or even with the twin soul, and guides...
As our soul is not easily seen, understood, realized, it is really difficult to discern, without hard work of meditation, self awareness and grace, from what profundity and origins these aspirations, feelings and rays of love and gratitude arise...
Sometimes is not so much bleeding of love in aspiration or outburst but it is just peace and serenity that is there inside and flowing, not matter how much we love or are loved, no matter the world is in peace or war: the spiritual heart just shines through us, in us...
Probably because the creativeness of the spiritual soul, the eagerness to the knowledge and truth in us and the peace of the awareness of the Unity are at the same level with Love, and all these expand us in deeper and wider dimensions of Reality and so the heart aflame is the right ground or chalice for giving birth to our best actions, feelings, sentiments, intuitions and realizations.
So, even if you can't discern the level of the Love in you, and how much sentiments and thoughts arise pure and free from it, still accept all the currents, streams or drops of the Cosmic Ocean of Love that come out through your heart and soul and be happy to be aware of them, or even amplify and direct them, and give graces because the Divine Being is our deep insondable intimate source, and when our heart is bleeding the aspiration to commune more with Him-Her, or with your friends or with the beloved one, or with Justice and Truth, is enlivened.
And so sometimes the inner ocean of Love is just discernment, peace and so the light and love of the inner presence is more felt and specialy the communion with the beloved, either the polar being, either the master, the angel or the personnal God, happens, and so is not more the bleeding of the unknown arrow trespassing our chest and heart but it is the fire of Love in shared bounds, and the awareness of the common fruits of Love and Unity shining.
Still sometimes by the lonely night, or when feeling hunger of the body or soul, facing so much injustice, opression and suffering in the world, the aspiration to God's Love grows and our heart's veins bleed, and the sacred blood expresses it self sometimes in words of prayers or singing of mantras, and then we become really more knights of the Holy Grail, aflame with that strenght, aspiration and communion, in the mystical or subtle body of Mankind, with the spiritual rays of the heart of the Divine Love...
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